(I know this article isn’t exactly about “homeschooling” but
I tribute a lot of my personal growth to our homeschooling lifestyle. It has
provided a place of reflection, healing, and spiritual growth for me as well as
providing an excellent learning environment for my children.)
Over a
cup of tea, a friend recently asked me, “do you feel pretty?” It took me aback as I considered that I hadn’t
even thought about whether or not I was pretty for a very long while. Do I feel pretty, or beautiful, or ugly or
what? I used to care. I guess I have
grown comfortable with my looks in the mirror but also, I have learned to be
valued by my inner qualities; feeling pretty has sort of lost its importance to
me. This is not to say that I have let health or hygiene fall by the wayside. But I think the real change for me has taken
place because of the way my husband and children love me. Children don’t care
if you are in your bath robe and your hair is sticking up all over the place.
They care that you are there taking care of them when they are sick or making
sure they have breakfast or a hug. My husband does express his approval for the
way I look, and we have a fulfilling relationship, so maybe I just stopped
caring if other people find me attractive. But lately my husband has also expressed
his appreciation for the things in me you cannot see.
The Bible talks about this subject in two places that I can
think of. One is 1 Timothy 2:9-10. “also that the women should dress themselves
modestly and decently in suitable clothing, not with their hair braided, or
with gold, pearls, or expensive clothes, but with good works, as is proper for
women who profess reverence for God.” And in Proverbs 31 there is a lengthy
description of a valuable, capable wife.
Starting at verse 25…”Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she
laughs at the time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching
of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household, and
does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her happy;
her husband too, and he praises her: “Many women have done excellently, but you
surpass them all” Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears
the LORD is to be praised.”
There was a time when I cared greatly about “charm and
beauty”. But over the past few years these verses have been a guide for me; this
is now the mirror I look into, and where I find my worth. In doing so I have been so blessed and a
little surprised by the love and appreciation my husband and sons have shown to
me. I have not mastered these qualities
of course, but am growing toward them all the more. I like the way George
MacDonald puts it in The Princess and Curdie: “Just so two people may be at the same spot in
manners and behavior, and yet one may be getting better and the other worse,
which is just the greatest of all differences that could possibly exist between
them.”
And so, yet again, I find the Bible contains the secrets to
a correct and healthy perspective from which to live my life. “For surely I know the plans I have for you,
says the LORD, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future
with hope. Then when you call upon me and come and pray to me, I will hear you.
When you search for me, you will find me; if you seek me with all your heart, I
will let you find me, says the LORD, and I will restore your fortunes and
gather you from all the nations and all the places where I have driven you,
says the LORD, and I will bring you back to the place from which I sent you
into exile.” Jeremiah 29: 11-14.
